Chapter Four - Dealings

I am going to be alone the rest of my life.

It was a statement in James’ head. Simple. Plain. Straight forward. No doubt whatsoever. And it wasn’t just this… whatever the Wraith was for her. It was her destiny. She knew it. She had never had luck with love and her recent foray was just another in a long line of disasters. She had thought for a while that she and Guy would end up together, really thought that their friendship would eventually become something else. But she was wrong about that, too. Although the thought still lingered some nights, like the other night when she dreamt that he kissed her very sweetly, stepped back and smiled that dimpled smile of his and said, “That was very nice.” She could still feel his lips on hers, see the glint in his sea green eyes, even though it was nothing more than her subconscious.

She shook herself out of that memory and moved on. Back to being alone. She would have to make something out of her life to stop her from thinking about this. She must help those who somehow manage to reach out to her. She must avenge… whatever the hell it was that she was avenging. She must…

Fuck “must”, she thought. Because some loony gypsy guy stuck a necklace in my hand, my whole life is going to be empty and dark and alone? That’s bullshit.

But the tiny voice inside her head whispered that she knew that that was right. You can’t save the world and have sex with someone. It’s against the rules. No love, no life, just avenging.

“This bites.”

She rose from the Louis the something’s chair she was curled up in. She had pretty much bought all the furniture with the house since her Ikea specials didn’t really go. The guy had been a musicologist and an antique collector. Again, she probably paid too much but she didn’t care.

She headed for another sleepless night in her bed. She stopped as she passed Guy’s coat, which still hung near the door. She hadn’t seemed to have managed to get it back to him. She reached out to touch it, to make some contact with him through this leather jacket, then pulled her hand away. Too much, she thought. Too many things in my head about him.

Little did she know.

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Maggie was already waiting for her when James arrived at The Pantry. She had a stack of print-outs and a big smile.

“James, I have so much to tell you.” Maggie leapt to her feet as her friend joined her. They embraced.

James saw it all in one swift vision. Maggie, naked, on a bed, a hand running down her back, caressing her. It was Guy’s hand. No doubt.

James stepped back, her breath gone. The image hovered – naked back, Guy’s hand. Then his face came into view as he leaned in to kiss Maggie. James could hear Maggie asking her if she was okay but it sounded like she was a million miles away. James couldn’t catch her breath. Maggie and Guy. “Inevitable” was the word that echoed in her mind.

“James?”

Reality slammed back into place with a gasp.

“You should really sit down. You don’t look good.”

James slid into the booth, still staggered by her vision. She gazed at Maggie as Maggie started chattering about what she had found in her research but James barely heard her. Finally, James got to her feet.

“I’ll call you later.”

“But, James, this is what you wanted to know.”

“I’m sorry. I just can’t right now. I gotta go.”

And she was gone.

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